Disabled

from Technopagan by Electromancy

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about

In 2018 I fell sick and I never got better. This is about my struggle with chronic illness. All the music is played by robots I custom built to keep making music while disabled.

I hope this track can shed some light on the experiences of people struggling with invisible disability, and help make those going through the same feel they are not alone.

lyrics

A recurring sense of grief
A passing of myself

Pushing my physical limits
To face daily life

Detached from my body
Dissociated, numb

My body keeps me safe from the physical pain of being
By turning off

Disability brings a repeated grief for oneself

There is no reason why
This is no one’s fault
There is nothing you could’ve done
This suffering just is
Again and again
Further

My frail body is the ultimate teacher
Stripped down to the core of myself
By grieving away the parts of me
I can hold no more

When you can no longer do the things you considered you
What are you now?
When you can do nothing,
What is your value?
Intrinsic and infinite

Yet we live in a world with a fetish for definition
You can only be
And that is beautiful
Full of awe
Powerful enough to crush any other notion

I am 29 years old
And I am prepared to be old,
Wise,
And next to death

credits

from Technopagan, released January 14, 2022

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Electromancy Oakland, California

@RobotMetalBand

Technical Black Metal composed by human, played by physical robots. In 2018 Satyra became chronically ill. Instead of quitting music because of their disability, they built robots to play instruments for them. This is the result. Electromancy, the robot metal band. ... more

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